Non-Jews are for practice
farters have to be the big spoon...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
