so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
