Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
