Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
