Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
