Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
