it was like eating out sand paper
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize