so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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