even my farts smell like vagina
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
