singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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