I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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