I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
