I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
