Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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