Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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