Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
