I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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