the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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