he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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