I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
