he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Can you bring me the toilet please
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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