everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
