i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
