girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This can only be settled by a dance off.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
