You work out of a Hotel?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize