I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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