She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
