the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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