There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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