take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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