Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
