By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
