I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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