Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
