Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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