Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
so much tequila, so little girl.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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