omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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