Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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