I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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