my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
