Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
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Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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