She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
