i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
