nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
