If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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