i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
