so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
