Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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