Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
why is half of my head shaved?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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