I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
