I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
