Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
