His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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