You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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