I didn't shave. On purpose
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
