Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
