I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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